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1---
2title: Am I transgender?
3x-toc-enable: true
4...
5
6Introduction
7============
8
9This is actually a really difficult question to answer. Only you can
10know. We plan to later add a bunch of info here about how other people
11realize they're trans, and links to stories about people's
12experiences, which may help. For now, this section is more or less
13empty.
14
15Someone did make this site, which might be useful to you: (it's not a
16questionnaire): <http://amitransgender.com/>
17
18Here is [a map of gender-diverse
19cultures](http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/content/two-spirits_map-html/).
20
21[Yes, you are 'trans enough' to be
22transgender!](http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/content/two-spirits_map-html/)
23
24No, really.
25[You are trans enough to be trans!](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mia-violet/yes-youre-trans-enough-to_b_9318754.html)
26
27NOTE: If you find questionnaires online, please remember that they are
28all BULLSHIT. OK?
29
30**IT'S OK TO BE TRANS!**
31
32Don't feel like a woman or a man? Do you feel like you are neither or both, or that you switch between them, etc?
33------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
34
35You could be *non-binary*. We have information about this scattered
36throughout the website.
37
38[3 Simple Steps to Recognizing the Existence of Non-Binary
39People](http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/11/recognizing-non-binary-people/)
40
41Are you intersex?
42-----------------
43
44Intersex people can also be trans. Remember, being trans simply means
45that you disagree with or do not fully agree with your assigned birth
46gender.
47
48Reading material
49----------------
50
51There are some books on the topic, which may help you. Note that some of
52them only cover particular types of trans people, e.g. only trans women.
53
54### Whipping Girl
55
56This is a very good book, and is often used in Gender Studies courses at
57universities these days.
58
59### Gender Outlaw
60
61Another good book.
62
63You can probably find these books on Amazon or something, or at your
64local library maybe. Or\... on some other place on the internet,
65perhaps. E.g. eBook.
66
67### The Null HypotheCis
68
69An article on the web, which may be useful for those who are still questioning:
70
71[The Null HypotheCis](https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/)
72
73You might be asking questions like\....
74
75How did I not know?
76-------------------
77
78In short, you are a victim of an extreme form of propaganda and
79brainwashing that enforces belief in what we call the *gender binary*.
80This is the idea that there are only 2 genders (male and female) and
81that there is no variation between them or that people can't switch
82between them. You probably weren't taught about transgender issues in
83school at all, and nobody in your family or social group told you about
84it. You may have simply stumbled on it by accident and realized that it
85answered all of your questions; before now, you knew you were
86*different* but you didn't know why.
87
88You were born, and you were told you were &lt;insert gender&gt;. You
89were then given toys, friends and a social upbringing in that gender
90that the doctor chose for you.
91
92The doctor decided your gender based on your genitalia. This is a common
93- and wrong - practise.
94
95Society taught you that only men and women exist. It probably didn't
96teach you about the existence of non-binary people (if you came out to
97yourself as non-binary, for instance).
98
99You were taught to live as a man, or to live as a woman.
100
101You felt weird. You felt different. You were unhappy, and you didn't
102know why. It may have been mild enough that you were able to ignore it.
103
104*You may have been aware at a younger age, but your brain suppressed it.
105When the brain detects danger, it shuts itself down to protect you from
106harm. Your gender was incompatible with your body, and you suppressed
107it.*
108
109You were repressed. You never learned about gender dysphoria (or gender
110euphoria) at school. Your school probably only taught you that men are
111men, women are women and that they make babies.
112
113A world was pulled over your eyes, which you did not belong in, but you
114were able to cope.
115
116Until now.
117
118[This article explains the problem in a lot more
119detail](http://www.tranarchism.com/2010/11/26/not-your-moms-trans-101/)
120- from birth, you were forced (yes, forced) to fit into a certain binary
121gender, probably based on your genitalia. If you were unlucky, the
122doctor might have seen that you were intersex with ambiguous genitalia
123and they might have decided to perform surgery on you to "fix" you (in
124other words, mutilate you).
125
126How can I be trans if I realized so late?
127-----------------------------------------
128
129Contrary to what you might have otherwise heard, most trans people
130actually don't realize they're trans until they're in their 20s, 30s
131or 40s or older. Some people realize when they're in their 70s.
132
133A few realize in teens. Some repress it, and others don't and then try
134to cope.
135
136Most people don't realize that they're trans before teenage years.
137
138There are all kinds of triggers that lead to a person realizing that
139they're trans.
140
141This can result in extreme euphoria, for some individuals, because for
142the first time in their life they finally understand their feelings and
143finally feel at peace knowing who they are.
144
145And then the adventure begins\...
146
147What if this is just a sexual fetish and I'm not actually trans?
148-----------------------------------------------------------------
149
150*Some* people in the community will wrongly tell you that getting
151aroused about your appearance means you're not trans. This is *false*.
152
153Gatekeepers sometimes use autogynephilia (loving of oneself as a woman)
154or autoandrophilia (love of oneself as a man)
155as an excuse to try and
156convince a trans person that they are not trans. Gatekeeping is
157transphobic by nature. (we are not currently aware of a term for
158non-binary people, so for now we'll use the term autophillia. the
159term skoliosexual also refers to attraction to non-binary people, so
160the term autoskoliosexual could be used).
161
162Being sexually attracted to yourself as a particular gender does not
163invalidate your existence as that gender. It's a common theme in
164sexuality, and it has zero relevance to your gender identity and/or
165expression. Just as there are some people who are not sexually attracted
166to anyone, not even themselves.
167
168Any sexual fetishes that you have are also fine. It's common for
169people to have
170sexual fetishes. There are a great many of them out there, and an
171entire internet dedicated to them ;)
172
173None of this has anything to do with your gender identity
174and/or expression. All it means is
175that you have a fetish, and/or you are attracted to yourself, and there is
176absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. The reality is that lots of people
177are just like you, but lots of people repress it because we don't yet live
178in an open-minded society that accepts diversity.
179
180There is something wrong with anyone who says anything different than the
181above, but there's nothing wrong with *you* at all.
182
183But I like men/women/both, am I not just gay/bi? Maybe I'm just sexually frustrated?
184-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
185
186Actually, trans people can be heterosexual, gay or bi. It's totally fine!
187
188[Sexuality and gender identity/expression are NOT the same
189thing!](sexuality.md)
190
191What if I'm just autistic / have Asperger's syndrome / are neurologically diverse?
192----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
193
194A lot of trans people when they are young start becoming unruly at
195school, misbehaving a lot and throwing tantrums, etc.
196
197A lot of trans people actually are autistic. A trans person can be
198autistic, just like a cis person. It isn't really anything special.
199
200It's possible to be autistic and still be trans.
201
202On the other hand, difficulty interacting with people and social anxiety
203and discomfort in public, shutting down etc, can be caused by dysphoria
204too.
205
206Many parents try to convince their child that they are just autistic and
207not trans, after their children come out. Parents: please don't. You
208might screw your kid up. Let them explore their identity, OK?
209
210But I don't have dysphoria. How can I be trans?
211----------------------------------------------
212
213Actually, this is OK. Not all trans people suffer gender dysphoria. Some
214people only have gender *euphoria*
215
216We have a [page documenting this](gender-euphoria.md).
217
218I've already been diagnosed as neurologically or functionally diverse. Am I still trans?
219-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
220
221Trans people can have mental health conditions, just like cis people.
222Cis people do not have a monopoly on mental health conditions!
223
224People with schizophrenia are often accused of being delusional or
225possibly confused when they come out as trans. *This is disgusting.
226Schizophrenia has nothing to do with gender identity, nor does any other
227mental health issue, and being transgender is not a mental health
228condition!*
229
230And the classic question\...
231
232What if I'm not trans?
233-----------------------
234
235Cis people don't realize they're trans, because they're not trans. If
236you're *worried* that you might not be trans, then to be honest you
237probably are, but it's always good to question yourself and be sure.
238There is no rush to do anything, unless you want to or need to.
239
240If you find yourself questioning your gender and feel like the one the
241doctors assigned you is false, then you probably are.
242
243**Only you can know whether you're trans.**
244
245If you later find out that you're not trans, then it doesn't matter!
246TransChation is mostly reversible, despite what many people say.
247
248You might come out to yourself as binary trans (trans man or trans
249woman), and if you later discover that you're *not trans*, it could be
250alternatively that you are non-binary. It's actually very common for
251people to come out as trans man/woman, but then later realize that
252they're non-binary. This is OK!
253
254It's OK to explore yourself, really! You don't have to be trans! You
255don't have to be cis either! Just keep an open mind, and keep exploring
256your identity, your life and your place in the world. You will surely
257find the answers, but you have to dig deep into yourself.
258
259Part of coming out to yourself as trans is (in many cases) undoing a lot
260of psychological trauma suffered over the years, and undoing a lot of
261repression. You will likely be *tripping* over yourself, for many months
262or years.
263
264It can be scary to come out to oneself. For the first time in your life,
265you're being honest with yourself and truly exploring yourself. The
266best thing to do is to try to be calm. You'll be surprised what you
267find, when you really look inwards on yourself.
268